Really, Really Try
by Maysilee Survived
Summary: Prim's point-of-view of the reaping.
1. Promise

I stand in the crowd with the other twelve year olds. I've always felt nervous on reaping day, worried that Katniss, or Gale or someone we know is going to get picked, but somehow, today, the fear just seems a little more _real._ It's like now that I'm here, standing in the twelve year olds section, the reality that this could actually be happening finally works its way into my head. It's odd, that no one I know has ever been reaped, and maybe that's why I always had this little feeling that we were actually safe. Of course we were not safe, we were never safe from the Capitol, but I liked to pretend that we were.

I know Katniss did all she could to protect me, taking tesserae to make sure I wouldn't have to. I think I'm more worried for her than she is for me. She tried to convince herself that I'm safe.

"One slip in thousands," she tells herself constantly. That's right. One slip in thousands. The odds are in my favor. And after the reaping, we're all going to go back home, me and Katniss and Mother and all of Gale's family. We're going to have a nice meal with some of the game Katniss shot last night, some bakery bread that Gale got, cheese from Lady, and the strawberries they found. It's going to be a good night, right after this horrible reaping. It will be a celebration of relief. I try not to remember that there will be two families who, after this afternoon, will be struck by grief as they watch their children on TV for the next few weeks.

Effie Trinket walks with a spring in her step onto the stage. She has freakish pink curls this year. I remember, when I was little, I would laugh every time I saw a person from the capitol. They just look so silly! I'd laugh at Effie, except I'm too worried about the reaping. She goes on about what a pleasure it is to be here, and her voice makes me sick. It is so cheery and happy, and excited. Excited for what? It's like she doesn't see us as people, only as the workers who provide her city with coal and entertainment. I guess that's how all the Capitol people think of us. Don't they know what this is like? Don't they have families, friends, neighbors, who they care about? Or is it everyone for themselves? Are the people in the Capitol capable of love? Or Caring? If they are, why can't they see that we in the districts are too, and understand how horribly they treat us? Sometimes I think about what it would be like if I walked up to a Capitol person and asked them my questions. The ones about love and understanding our pain. I know though, that I would never do that.

The mayor goes on about the treaty of treason and such and I barely hear Effie saying "Ladies First" as she walks over to the reaping ball that holds the girl's names.

"Primrose Everdeen!" Wait. That's… that's _me. _I can't believe it. Of all the names, it's mine that get's called. Shock is my first emotion, followed closely by immense, terrible, hopeless fear. _Never. _That's the word that comes into my mind, and following it, all the things that that I will never get to see, to do, all the people I will have to say goodbye to. Memories of tributes' gory deaths flood my mind, stabbings, beheadings, getting ripped apart by mutts. I walk slowly, and stiffly, thinking that maybe if I just walk slower, I'll never make it to the stage at all. I think I might be shaking, and I realize that I've already given up on myself.

I'm almost to the base of the stage, when suddenly, someone pushes me out of the way. It's Katniss.

"I volunteer!" she yells. The panic in her voice is obvious. She repeats herself, like she's worried no one heard her.

"NO! Katniss!" I try to pull her back, wrap my arms around her and hold on with all my strength, but Gale picks me up and carries me away. I'm struggling hard, screaming at Gale to put me down, screaming for Katniss not to go. Gale sets me down next to my mother, but wraps me in his arms, embracing me, and also making sure I don't run back to the stage. I don't even try to fight back the tears, I just let them pour down my face. By the time they've announced the boy tribute, (I didn't hear his name), the front of my blouse is soaked.

Everyone starts to move away from the square, and I lose track of what's going on. All I know is that my sister is going to the games. _She's going to the games, she's sacrificing her life for… me._ The whole thing is so awful. I can't take it. If she dies in the games, I'll probably be thinking _that should have been me._

I'll admit, I felt a brief moment of relief as she volunteered, only for it to be replaced by guilt. Why should I be relieved that my sister is giving up her life for me? I also feel guilty, knowing that many other children don't have older sisters like Katniss who can volunteer to protect them. In a way, that makes me very lucky, but it's Katniss who needs the luck. She's the one going to the games.

Later, not much later, my mother takes me to the justice building to say goodbye to Katniss. I have finally stopped crying, but even seeing her might bring the tears back. _Come on, hold it together, Prim. Don't have Katniss' last memory of you before the games be of you crying uncontrollably. Let her see that you can take care of yourself, so she won't worry. _ She's just sitting, not crying or anything. Well, she's never been very emotional on the outside.

I climb onto her lap and hug her, and we're just silent for a while. The silence is very filled with feelings, like we all know the idea of what we're trying to say but can't put it into words. I try to put all of my love for her into that embrace, I hope she knows how much I love her. Of course she does.

Then Katniss starts giving instructions, what to do while she's gone. I tell her I'll be all right. I tell her maybe she can win. I tell her to really, really, try. I make her promise to try to come home, and I can see in her eyes that she will try as hard as she can to keep her promise. Maybe just because she's promising it to _me._


	2. Safe and Sound

**This story was originally going to be a one-shot, but now it's not. Should I keep going?**

**I love Taylor Swift's new song. So much. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger games or the song Safe and Sound.**

I curl up on the couch, in front of the TV. Katniss is asleep in a tree, and her ally is next to her. Her name is Rue. She is very small, like me. If Katniss hadn't taken my place, if I had gone to the games, I think I would have chosen Rue as my ally too. I think we would have ended up being friends.

They're almost at the final eight. I bet Rue will make it. She's so resourceful and quick. And she must have _some_ sponsors. Rue deserves to go home. She deserves to make it out of the arena. And her family needs her, just like we need Katniss. But Katniss promised she'd come home. Katniss promised she'd try to win. And I miss her so much. Father and mother used to take care of us. Until he died, and then mother fell into a depression of sorts, and Katniss was the one who took care of me. Me and mother. The TV has changed cameras and are focusing on the careers now. I guess the capitol would rather watch them instead of Katniss sleeping. Okay, so I kind of get that. Mother comes in and tells me I should get some sleep. We have to leave the TV on in case the peacekeepers come around, so I get up and go to the bedroom. I wriggle my way under the sheets, but it feels so empty. There's more room to stretch out now, but I just can't. It's like the bed is mocking me, reminding me that Katniss isn't here. I hope I fall asleep soon.

I couldn't concentrate at school at all. I kept thinking about Rue and Katniss. But mainly Rue, for some reason. Katniss loves her, like a sister. Like the way she loves me. And that's how I feel too, just from watching her. Like I'm watching two sisters on TV. And then during lunch, something hit me. If Katniss is going to win, then Rue is going to die.

We have music class at the end of the day. Our school can't afford any instruments, so we mainly just sing. Today we're learning a new song. The tune reminds me of one my father used to sing when I was really little. He would sing it when I was scared, and it would always make me feel better. And suddenly, I'm thinking of the words from that song instead of the one we're learning now.

_Just close your eyes,_

_The sun is going down._

_You'll be alright._

_No one can hurt you now,_

_Come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound._

I think there are tears in my eyes. I raise my hand. The teacher calls on me.

"Can I please go to the bathroom? I'm not feeling well." The teacher nods, and I leave. But I don't go to the bathroom, instead, I walk away from the school. The teachers won't mind. I go to a place outside to the electric fence. There's a dandelion growing just on the other side. I remember the day when Katniss came home with dandelions for a salad, it was right after Peeta Mellark gave her a piece of bread. More words of the song come back to me.

_Hold on to this lullaby,  
>Even when the music's gone. <em>

Mother has the TV on when I get home. They're showing a recap of the deaths today. It's the boy from district one, and Rue. Rue was speared through the stomach. Katniss is holding her hand as she dies, and she's singing a song. I haven't heard Katniss singing in years. Not since Dad died. The song's a mountain air, a lullaby. It's about hope, and tomorrow, and love. And Katniss is crying. She doesn't cry at home, she always tries to hold it together, for me. But now she's crying. And it's making me cry too. Crying for Katniss, crying for Rue. For Rue's family, and district eleven, and the families of all the tributes in all the games. And the two songs merge together in my head.

_I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'd never let you go,  
>When all those shadows almost killed your light.<br>I remember you said don't leave me here alone.  
>But all that's dead and gone and past, tonight.<em>

_Here it's safe,  
>here it's warm,<br>Here the daisies guard you from every harm.  
>Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true,<br>Here is the place where I love you._

_Just close your eyes,_

_The sun is going down._

_You'll be alright._

_No one can hurt you now,_

_Come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound._

The songs fits us so well. But it's wrong about one thing. We're not safe, we can be hurt, and closing our eyes won't make the pain go away.


End file.
